Mark Loretta for Doug Mirabelli. You even utter those words in a fantasy league and you lose respect for life; followed by things like, “who let this guy in the league?” or “Are you insane or just stupid…stupid, right?” or “why don’t you go back to watching the Food Network and let us men handle this.”
Let’s see…the Padres gave up their starting second basemen and #3 hitter in the lineup for Boston’s backup catcher. Right. Why even ask for Doug Mirabelli? Why not just exchange Loretta for a boquet of flowers and a thank you card? What do you want Mirabelli for? And don’t tell me you have big plans for him in 2006. Stop it. Now, if you’ve got a slow-pitch softball team and you’re playing for a keg of beer every night, then Mirabelli’s your next Jason Varitek. Lead the way, Captain!

But these are the Big Leagues. The league where Mirabelli is a career .241 hitter. Loretta? .301. Wow. And in case you’re wondering about potential, Mirabelli is 35 and Loretta is 34. A lot better to be in your early to mid 30s and be in the middle infield than behind the plate. But who cares, right? Oh yeah, and the most games Mirabelli has ever played in one season? 82 games in 2000 for the San Francisco Giants where he batted a robust .230.

And then it hit me. The Padres’ GM is Kevin Towers. The Red Sox’s President is Larry Lucchino. The same Larry Lucchino who used to have the same position only a couple of years ago with the San Diego Padres. Who do you think hired Towers? I got it. One last favor for the ol’ big guy, huh Towers?

O.k., how about this: how about Brian Giles for I don’t know…say, Enrique Wilson? The Yankees can sign and trade him. Whatta you say? I’d offer you Flaherty but I can see you’re set at that position. C’mon, you’re into over-the-hill backups. Hey, Larry said it was o.k. Oh wait, you’re gonna give them Giles for Alejandro Machado, right?



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